Sunday, March 02, 2008

I stole the cheese

My conscience is really bugging me. On Friday, we were at the grocery store and after we loaded the car with all the goods and started driving out, we noticed a block of cheese lying on the ground in the parking lot. It must have fallen out of someone's grocery bag. The first words out of hubby's mouth were, "look at the cheese! Go get it!".
"Should I?...Really?"
"Sure! Go for it"
I hesitated for a split second out of self consciousness, then opened the car door and grabbed the block of mozzarella cheese. Now, this wasn't your regular no name brand cheese, it was the good expensive stuff you get at the deli counter. I thought, what a score! I was so pleased with myself. Especially after watching the latest Oprah episode about the Freegan lifestyles, where people scrounge around grocery dumpsters looking for free food. I could now consider myself as one of them, getting my hands dirty in the parking lot while picking up a block of cheese
...OK, so it wasn't a dumpster, and I really didn't get my hands dirty. In fact, someone paid for this cheese and it fell out of their bag by accident. Omigosh. I stole the cheese! And to top it off, there were a group of bystandards loitering on the sidewalk, staring at me as I ran out of the car and scooped up that mozzarella. Witnesses! Wait a second. I am a criminal!
"I can't believe you just did that"
"What do you mean?? You encouraged it!"
"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it. It's so not like you."
Well, that comment did wonders for my guilty conscience. The rest of the way home I begged Hubby to turn the car around so I could place the cheese in the exact position I found it. What if the shopper realized it had fallen out of his/her bag and while they were looking for it, one of the "witnesses" mentioned that a lady in a grey car stole it? Oh, I felt horrible. Hubby laughed at me all the way home. I'm glad he found this entertaining. Me? I've resolved to leave unclaimed grocery items where they are and to stop watching so much Oprah.

4 comments:

flossy-p said...

HAHAHAHAHA, this cracked me up... you filthy cheese thief! Haha, just kidding. Next time you go you'll have to leave a trail of your grocery items across the car park, and then drive back and pick them up one by one.... so all those "witnesses" are thrown off the trail thinking it's merely your unusual way of packing the car. "Look, here she is again, that woman that can't be bothered carrying her stuff all the way to the car, she's so freaky!" (maybe so, but at least they won't think you're a cheese thief!) Trust me, I think that'll work ;)

Harry Tournemille said...

I can't believe you tried to include me in your criminal endeavors. We all know you forced me to pull the car over. And not only did you grab the package of cheese, now soaked from afternoon rain, you held it up in your hands and crowed like a rooster. You then turned to the crowd of loiterers, "What, you got something to say?" No one moved. "I didn't think so."

Theresa said...

Just for the record, I am chalking this up to my brother.
I know you Dillis.
There is just no way it was all you...
(giggle, giggle)

Maggie Pie said...

Nice one. I just say finders keepers losers weepers.