Monday, April 07, 2008

Enjoying the moment

These last few weeks have been wonderful and exhausting all at once...but maybe a bit more on the exhausting side of things. Our button, Simone, is not a very good sleeper. She is nearly 9 months old and has never slept through the night and she doesn't really nap much longer than 30 minutes these days.
I think many other Mom's have experienced a baby like this, and I can't help but think they all handle it miles better than I can. But I desperately miss sleep. I miss closing my eyes and waking up on my own, well rested and cheerful. Instead, I am jolted awake more than a few times each night to the sound of my baby crying for me and I find myself jumping out of bed before I even know where I am.
Now, I am not one of those people who can manage on 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night. I've always needed a minimum of 8 hours of solid sleep a night in order to function properly. So you can imagine what I must be like after 8 1/2 months of this sort of broken sleep. I am often cranky, depressed and always obsessing over any sort of sleep issue. I haven't had the energy to do my hair or put on make up (even though the dark circles under my eyes are begging for it!) and never mind my wardrobe...I still haven't shed those last 10 pounds! My poor hubby. To say we are both looking forward to the first night that Simone sleeps 10 hours straight, is definitely the understatement of the year.
Well, now that I've given you the long winded pity party of my current situation, I should tell you that I am making every effort to cherish these days. Before I know it, Simone is going to be running around, blabbing away and I'm going to wonder what happened to those sweet infant days.
I must make the effort to stop, take a moment and consciously appreciate the time I have with her. The way her little fingers reach out and scratch, pinch or poke new objects and her knuckles get so round and dimpled.
...The way she smiles just for me
...The way she absorbs the world around her. What is she thinking anyway?
When I think of those little things, I can get through each day.

7 comments:

Harry Tournemille said...

Lovely post, Sandra. I know it's tough for you, but you'll get through it. You always do. And isn't it great to see the beauty of the world through a infant's eyes?

Theresa said...

Dillis, you are such a great mom. I always marvel at your unending patience! If I was half the mom you are- yikes! You look so very fantastic all the time that I can't believe that you are running on so little sleep. Wish I could help you out more. *hug*
Raz

Bird Bath said...

Oh Sandra, I understand how you feel. It is really tough but you know it won't last forever...I struggled much the same with my first -and then had another two despite it all! Sleep is still a very precious commodity for me yet I stay up late blogging because I crave time by myself too.

Lina said...

She is so beautiful, what a blessing!

Been said...

Dilly, I relate to your sellpless, zomby less days. It does indeed suck! Hopefully Simone will learn quickly to sleep more deeply and longer. I wish I had atrick to help her sleep but I am still trying to figure it out with my own:( I'll let you know if I discover anything!! It is true, time does pass so fast. Of course not at the time but reflecting back on their short life it has flown by, sadly enough. Simone is a beautiful child, and I wish you the best of luck in these challenging days. If you haven't given up yet, your doing great!! It is true when people say these are some of the best times in your life, but I think they forgotto say they are also the hardest. lol

Equipoise said...

Thanks for your comment, it was much appreciated. Your little one is adorable! The sleep (or lack therof) thing is what I'm most worried about being a Mom...we'll see if I fare any better. If not, I'll be coming to you for advice!

proudgrits11 said...

At the risk of sounding like a complete kook, the only reason we've survived 2.3 years with a not-so-good sleeper is bringing him to bed with us. Crazy, I know, but he sleeps better there and we're all happier. I can sleep in later with him and it makes all the difference. We nap together, too. Happy Mama, happy world. Does it help to say "This too shall pass...?? :)